if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
