Betty ford says i'm here all night
Your dad touched me again.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
