Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
