I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ugly people sure do ruin things
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
