her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do vagina's smell?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
