I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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