Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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