we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
