wakey wakey hands off snakey
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
farters have to be the big spoon...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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