Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Boobs speak an international language.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
