i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize