Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
