Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
