dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
