i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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