so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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