thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
that may or may not have been my penis.
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