yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Randomize
