He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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