yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
