at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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