I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
