things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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