its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
