what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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