I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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