You're so nebulous sometimes
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize