Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
