I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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