Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
