apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
