Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
