I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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