He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
