Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
