yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
