how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
