The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
