I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
