that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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