You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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