i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
