i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
