it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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