it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
