God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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