I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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