Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
