Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
