dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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