Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He felt like a one man threesome
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
