whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
