is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize