you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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