I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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