didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
