Just took my morning after pill in the library
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
