Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize