never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
