I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
