I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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