Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
