I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
