Soap is not a condiment
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I love you.
Bad choice
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
