Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize