I think im going to throw up on grandma
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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